The 7 Best Foods to Eat When You're Stoned

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The 7 Best Foods to Eat When You're Stoned By justin on Weed For the past week or so, we've had this "Stoner Sidekick Quiz" ad over on the right side of our page, where you can win a TV or a PS3. The good people at Land of the Lost also asked us to write something about smoking weed, which got us thinking...and smoking weed...and eating a lot of food. Eating food when you're stoned is like having a thousand orgasms in your mouth all at once (maybe I worded that incorrectly), and during our extensive research sessions in preparation for this article, we discovered a collection of foods that we feel stimulate the stoned palate more than any other delicacy on earth. These, in our opinion, are the 7 Best Foods to Eat When You're Stoned: 1. Pop Tarts For most of us, Pop Tarts are the foundation of our understanding of what a pastry is. You can pop them in the toaster for a simultaneously crispy and gooey treat, or you can eat them raw, right out of the thin aluminum wrapper, just like the astronauts eat! The extensive variety of Pop Tart flavors can appeal to nearly any taste, whether it be the traditional Cherry, S'mores-flavored, or even the brown sugar ones with the diahrrea-colored frosting. They also come in two-packs, and there's nothing better when you're high than suddenly remembering you actually have twice as much food as you thought you did. The Super-Special Recipe: For a real flavor kick, try toasting a couple of Pop Tarts, and then spreading butter on them while they're piping hot. The butter will melt into the frosting and create an unfathomable concoction of goodness. 2. Sonic's Chili-Cheese Tater Tots Anyone who's fortunate enough to live near a Sonic Drive-In can verify that Sonic's regular menu is basically a Stoner Paradise, but their Chili-Cheese Tater Tots are easily the top contender. They're reasonably priced, so that you can get about 5 orders of these puppies before you're even approaching the price of a normal fast food meal, and the dish contains three stoner staples: chili, cheese, and tater tots, a flavor combination that kicks you in the face like the love-child of a rabid kangaroo and the physical manifestation of awesomeness. The Super-Special Recipe: Throw a handful of Fritos (or Chili-Cheese Fritos, if you're feeling extra bold) into the mix for an added crunchiness and a little bit of a salty flavor that might make you pass out from sheer mouth ecstasy. 3. Late Night Jalapeno Popper Doritos The most amazing thing about this flavor of Doritos is that they actually taste exactly like jalapeno poppers late at night. I don't know how it's possible, but the people at Doritos (who have to be high all the time) have really outdone themselves this time. There's another flavor in the Doritos "Late Night" collection, called Taco Stand or something like that. That one is pretty good, too, but the jalapeno poppers are so tasty they'll make your balls tingle a little bit, and the best part is that they're incredibly easy to find when you're stumbling through the grocery store, blazed out of your mind and looking for something to munch on; they'll be the only product on the chip aisle that's in a black bag with neon light lettering on it. Well-played, Doritos, well-played. The Super Special Recipe: Two words: QUESO DIP. read more Comments